Yesterday I drove to the nearby town of Bisbee. My intention was to poke around in some antique stores while just having some time to myself. There are times when I don't want to be alone, and other times when it feels refreshing and restful. This was one of the latter, and it was good for me.
I drove home on highway 92, a stretch of road, long and straight as an arrow from the Mule Mountains on one side of the valley to the Huachuca Mountains on the other. What a broad. expansive view! Also, easy driving and a good time to think.
How many times have I driven that highway with Jeanette beside me in the car? She's the one who made walking around Bisbee a fun thing to do. She's the one who first introduced me to the cafe' where I had lunch today. I began to think of all the places I've been with her. We've lived in the Sierra Vista area nearly 25 years. That's 25 years of going places and doing things with Jeanette! After that many years, there are scarce few places I can go in this corner of the state without some memory attached!
Certainly, there's something to be said for memories, especially as many good ones as I have. Comforting? YES! But, at the same time, missing her presence with me is awfully hard. As I was driving, I scolded myself for such melancholy thoughts, and I turned my mind to think of beginnings, not endings.
Gradually, as we're able, we must make new memories. It's not as if new memories replace old ones, like recording over something erases what was previously there. That is the underlying fear. The fear that new things she's not part of will somehow diminish cherished memories. No. We get to keep all the wonderful memories while creating new ones. We should, and we will, create new memories as time passes.
I remember a song Jeanette's Girl Scout troop used to sing. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." It applies to memories, too.
Sara Faith Nelson
Sharing the journey, because, I find there are so many others making the trek through life without a loved one