Little by little, sometimes in the tiniest increments, my desperate, grasping hold loosens. No, I’m not letting go of you. How could a mother ever let go of her child? Not even death can sever the invisible, stronger-than-anything-known to-man umbilical cord connecting mother and child. No, I’ll never let go of you. But, there is another kind of letting go taking place, little by little.
Everything is different now. Everything. And, there’s no going back. No wishing, no magic wand, not anything to make it the way it used to be. Letting go means coming to terms with this reality; letting go of life as I knew it before.
Part of me still isn’t sure if it’s ok to enjoy good times. I miss sharing the good times with you. The truth is life does go on, and it’s not a terrible thing to continue living and enjoying life. I know that’s what you want for me. It’s just so strange, you not being here. Letting go means adjusting, adapting, accepting a new way of life. Letting go means choosing life; choosing to live life to its greatest and fullest potential; accepting that life still has potential.
I’ll never ever let go of you. But, I think you want me to let go of the past and reach for what’s ahead. I’m trying. Trying to let go. Trying to live again. Little by little, in tiny increments.
Sara Faith Nelson
Sharing the journey, because, I find there are so many others making the trek through life without a loved one