Woven into the fabric of my life is an experience of loss. Grief changed the pattern and, at least temporarily, darkened the colors. The weaving of my life will never be the same again, and that’s a fact. But, here’s the question. Is the fabric still usable? Or is it ruined?
Am I a woman who has experienced a life-altering experience? Or, have I taken on the role of that experience so intensely that I have become my loss? In other words, I can be a person who has experienced something, or I can become that experience. It can be something that happened, or it can define (and limit) who I am.
What difference does it make? Simply this, if I am a woman who has experienced loss, it becomes something woven into the fabric of my life. The pattern and colors may be altered, but over time, it is absorbed and becomes part of the grand design. But, if I become my loss, it’s as if the threads become knotted, the fabric twists until the loom breaks down.
Once again, I’m describing the difference between healthy and unhealthy grief. Experiencing loss can be a devastating, life-changing experience and grief is a valid emotion accompanying that loss. Make no mistake, grief is a natural, healthy response to loss. It would be unhealthy not to grieve. But, at a certain point, it can get all knotted up and stuck.
But, even getting stuck can be part of the pattern. Years from now, I may look back at the weaving of my life and say, “That’s where I got all knotted up, but here’s where I got back on track!” The key to either getting back on track or breaking the loom when it gets knotted is how I identify with loss. Am I a woman who has experienced loss or have I become the loss? The difference is something I’ve been pondering lately.
Sara Faith Nelson
Sharing the journey, because, I find there are so many others making the trek through life without a loved one